Beyond Our Vision

After a long week, the ideal way to rest when the long-awaited weekend arrives looks different for each of us, and it changes every weekend depending on where we're at.

Some of the general top picks are going to the beach, getting a manicure, sitting in the back yard with a good book in hand, hanging out with friends, staying in with popcorn and a movie, trying a new cafe, or just grabbing a coffee with your favorite person.

For most of you, your ideal way to relax might not be mentioned above and that just means you know what helps you best after a rough week (and I applaud you for that).

There are days where I prefer to rest by spending the day with friends, or ask Jason what he would like to do before we go back and forth in asking the same question.

Yet before I can really rest, there's something I just have to do first.

Can you take a guess at how I primarily destress from a long week?

I clean. Consider me a Monica Geller in real life because I seriously find joy in it like you wouldn't believe: cleaning, organizing, detailing - you name it. The label maker is my go-to helper and my filing system and planner are color coordinated and help me stay sane when there is a lot on my plate (how else can I plan like an adult without colored pens and eventful stickers?).

Due to the fact that I'm also a borderline germaphobe and have the desire to control whatever I can in regards to cleanliness, this has the tendency to teach me self-control from a whole new perspective.

To be frank, this was the kind of week where I felt the need to stay busy; to be in control of something I could see right in front of me.

Cleaning, or keeping busy with other "productive" items on the checklist is an easy way of coping with the fact that some things are just out of my control - beyond my vision - especially when I thought I made the right choice in the first place.

What is that for you? When it feels you've lost your grip on your own life and the outcomes are just not in your favor - what do you do?

When in order to be content with where our feet are, productivity is the answer.

Busy-ness is key.

There were dishes to clean, meals to prepare, coffee dates to schedule, and a future to plan. The list goes on until we have set up more than we know we can manage in the right mindset. At this point, we're burned out, feel overwhelmed and groggy. There isn't anything necessarily wrong with feeling the need to be productive (coming from the woman who can't sleep at night with dirty dishes in the sink or leave her office without checking off every box on her planner). Not at all.

What makes them "bad" is our focus on, and quite frankly, the glorification of them.

When we focus too much of our time and attention on the hustle and beat ourselves up when we don't do it enough with the outcomes we want, we lose site of the actual meaning and necessity of stillness.

When we don't set that precious time aside to intentionally be still, we get depressed, restless, and bitter.

For me, I go pretty insane to say the least. When we push ourselves to be more, do more, see more, taste more, and say more we exhaust ourselves. We begin to believe that our joy is dependent on what I can do, instead of what God can do. I know for myself in those times when I'm feeling absolutely exhausted, I have to ask myself when was the last time I was still. When did I last put all my chores and plans aside--even for ten minutes--to be present with God and keep my ears open rather than running my mouth.For as long as I can remember, my favorite hymn sang throughout the church sanctuary was It is Well. The words struck a chord in me as a young girl, a reckless teenager, and still now as a (mostly) grown woman. The words are a sweet reminder that ring in my ears during the times I just want to shut everything and everyone out. Most of us are familiar with the story of Mary and Martha, the sister's of....Be still, be present. There is a time to prepare and make a beautiful setting for those you love. There's no need to miss the rare opportunities for gathering with others and amazing conversations for something that can be done anytime. The God who spoke still speaks, The God who came still comes. He comes into our world. He comes into your world. He comes to do what you can't.

Ways to Practice Stillness When We Want Control of the Unknown

1) Write it down. I recommend writing things down for a lot of reasons and one of them is for the purpose of remembering the times we've doubted a relationship, project, or move would come together in the past and meditate on those things.

2) Go outside. seriously. This does wonders. When you feel stuck mentally, it helps to get your physical self unstuck from the couch or desk, too.

3) Read something inspiring. A cooking/baking blog, an inspirational book - something that will get you our of that rut and into that resting mindset you strive to be in. Reading a good book about someone else's experiences that are similar to ours has a way of encouraging us, even guiding us, to open our closed and fretted minds to the fact that rest is required to do good work.

4) Be where your feet are. Favorite chapter headline by Hannah Brencher (never read her books? Do. It. Now). Embrace your place, right now. Stop pondering on tomorrow or become anxious on how the trip with the in laws will be next week. where you are and where you want to be, but like HB said "be where your feet are". Don't force a move just to feel like you accomplished something, it may not be the right thing. Trust your gut, but don't rush. It's good to plan, but don't freak out when things don't go your way

5) Spend some time with a friend. Phone call, video chat, in person - whatever works best for you (highly recommend in person if possible). Voice your anxieties and doubts to your listening friend, and maybe get a little advice from them too. They know the good side of you and your greatest potential more than you do. You know when your friend says something makes you go "Oh, ouch, okay Gina that hurt" that means they said something you probably needed to hear and it's for your own good. Wisdom is not always grown from within; it's created by your tribe.

6) Repeat it, write it on your mirror, sing it when you're overwhelmed: Grace is always better than perfection. Tired of this phrase yet? Didn't think so. With all the pressures we get from ourselves, our jobs, families, or wherever else you may get it from to be the best or perfect version of you - you are already there. The you you are today is the you you are supposed to be today. The you you will be tomorrow will be different in some, and very similar in others - not because you've managed to build the best brand or figure out the formula to be the best parent - no. It's because you are magnificently you.

We worry about a number things; we wonder if we've made the right decision.

You're not alone (or wrong) in thinking of the worst case scenarios after most of your hopeful efforts seemingly when down the drain.

I think we can give too much credit and action to our paranoia. To a point, worry can benefit us because it gives us the ability take a step back and question an act before we do something about it.

But what we need to work on is to not get carried away by the could've, should've, or would've -- it will take us away from where we're meant to go.

I think I've become better with the whole cleaning obsessively everyday routine (I mean, I've left clean laundry unfolded on the couch for a few days without a care or plan to do it soon so there's a start).

Some events are just beyond our vision we can't control - and that's one of the mysterious ways God shows us where we are meant to go.

Sitting in the stillness with decaf coffee in hand,

Kimber